you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
