Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
