when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
