just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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