I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
