shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I lost the right to judge tonight
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize