Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
