omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
