it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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