You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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