I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
