Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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