I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
