just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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