fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
