he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
