just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
