would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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