I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
