If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
