im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
