He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
