is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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