He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
