so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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