people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
