I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
