I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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