Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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