I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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