Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
