I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
