I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize