then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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