He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
