At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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