you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
