Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize