yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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