Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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