It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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