And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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