I like to think it a success when the cops are called
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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