the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
