My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
