dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize