omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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