Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
