Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
