im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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