Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
