My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
