For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
