I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
