Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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