My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
