apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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