i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is wine microwaveable?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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