So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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