I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
