You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
