Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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