38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
