If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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