Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
