Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
